Articles by john-ostrander
Thu Jul 3, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Life 101, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone
My Aunt Helen turned 101 years old last weekend. Let me repeat that – my Aunt Helen is 101 years old. She beat her own father’s record, who died a mere six months after turning 100. She still lives in her own apartment, with help especially from my sister, Marge. Helen gave up smoking only a few years ago but she still has her drink now and then. She gets to church when she feels the urge. Big Cubs fan, even though they haven’t won a World Series since she was born. I kid Helen that she intends to hang on until they win another one if it takes another hundred years.
She’s so old she dated John McCain. Ba-dump bump. I think she’d like that gag. Aunt Helen is still pretty sharp. Me, I’m not so sure about.
She lived in the house next to ours in Chicago’s Rogers Park neighborhood when I was growing up, along with my paternal grandmother and grandfather. When Pop-Pop had bought the property, Rogers Park was actually a suburb on Chicago’s North Side. Me, my brother, and my younger sister ran over there with some frequency because there we were little princes or princess – which we sure weren’t at home. Lord knows we took advantage of it. Well, I know I did.
Saturday night we’d have dinner there in front of the TV. Helen always served up the same meal: a bit of steak, Campbell’s Pork and Beans, and for dessert, ice cream cake roll swimming in chocolate syrup.
Let me take a moment to extol on the glories of the ice cream cake roll. The principle was the same as a jelly roll cake only the cake would be a deep chocolate and would use vanilla ice-cream instead of jelly. It’s impossible to find on the East Coast. Even in Chicago, the quality has gone down. The last one I had, the cake was stale, thin, and had freezer burn, as did the very artificial vanilla ice cream that was in it. I’ve wandered off the topic again but… dang! It was ice cream cake roll!
I think I remember some of the shows I used to watch during those Saturday night dinners such as Patrick McGoohan in Danger Man (which would later become Secret Agent) and Peter Lawford and Phyllis Kirk playing Nick and Nora Charles in a TV version of The Thin Man. After dinner we’d watch The Jackie Gleason Show that included the Miami Beach version of The Honeymooners. If we were lucky, we escaped before The Lawrence Welk Show came on.
Thu Jun 26, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Comic Book Market Farces, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone
How’s this for a concept of a superhero? A guy who is strong, can leap maybe a mile but doesn’t fly, and only a bursting cannon shell can puncture his skin. He is on the outs with the government, the local representatives of whom may be corrupt. He’s on the side of the “little guy” who otherwise may not have a chance against the Big Interests. He dangles neer-do-wells by one foot high in the air and threatens to drop them unless they co-operate – and he laughs while he’s doing it. The guy may be more than a little crazy.
Like the sound of this guy? Readers during the Depression did when they first started reading Superman. You ever go back and read those initial stories? In one, Superman decides that one slum area of the city needs urban renewal, which, of course, the city is disinclined to do. Superman then provokes the army who tries to drop bombs on him. He rushes in and out of abandoned tenements and the bombs level those buildings instead. The army fails to capture Superman and the tenements are leveled. The city now has to rebuild public housing, given the attention on the area.
That Superman today would be labeled a terrorist.
Or how about Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner over at Marvel when it was called Timely Comics. He was at war with the surface dwellers – us – and, in one story, deliberately flooded the Hudson Tunnel into New York. The tunnel is shown full of cars and there is no doubt in my mind everyone in them drowned.
Continue reading Comic Book Market Farces, by John Ostrander ›
Thu Jun 19, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Comic Reality Bytes, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone
Samuel Keith Larsen recently popped me a question on my message board that I found interesting:
“Remember back in the Death Of Captain Marvel, where Rick Jones asked the Avengers why they haven't discovered a cure for cancer? To this day, given all the magic and super-science, there hasn't been any good answer for why cancer hasn't been cured in the Marvel Universe. If you were asked to write a story dealing with that topic, how would you answer the question?”
Well, I’d note that Captain Marvel was dead but seems to be feeling better these days. Same with Bucky. However, that’s beside the point – and the question being asked.
As I answered the question on my board, if I was approached to write a story such as Sam described, I’d probably not cure cancer but use the story to explore the problems with curing cancer and why finding a cure is so difficult. The question asks really about continuity – if Mr. Fantastic is so freakin’ smart, why can’t he cure cancer? Or AIDS? It begs the issue of consistency.
For me, there is a larger issue and it gets back to the basic purpose of storytelling – all storytelling, to a greater or lesser degree. As the rector at my church, the (sometimes) Reverend Phillip Wilson, has often put it, stories are the atoms of our society. We use them to tell, share, compare, illustrate, defend, and maintain our lives, our experiences, who we are as individuals, as communities, even as a nation.
Thu Jun 12, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Alone Together In the Dark, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone
I remember the first time I saw the film Casablanca. It was at the 400 Theater in Chicago, just up Sheridan Road from Loyola University where I attended college. It was on the bill with Woody Allen’s Play It Again, Sam, an obvious but terrific double feature. I went stag but was lucky to get in at all; the small theater was packed.
I had missed or ignored Casablanca up until this point. I’m not sure why; I liked old serials a lot. The movie had certainly played on TV enough. I’d seen bits here and there or seen send-ups of it; callow youth that I was, I thought it wasn’t for me. Part of it was my own perverseness; my immediate reaction, on being told by everyone else that I must see this or I must hear that or I must read such and such is to say, “No, I don’t.” I get stupid stubborn about such things some times. Being told I would love the film I, of course, refused to see it. Finally, my curiosity overcame my perverseness and I sneaked off to view it without anyone else.
As I said, I went stag but I soon discovered I wasn’t alone. I was part of an audience, folks who mostly knew and loved the film. At the end of the singing of La Marseillaise, they cheered. When Captain Renault said, “Round up the usual suspects,” they cheered again. They laughed out loud at the funny lines (the movie is incredibly witty and they had actors who knew timing) and listened with rapt attention to Bogart’s speech at the end. Their delight and enthusiasm was catching on its own. And then there was the film itself.
Continue reading Alone Together In the Dark, by John Ostrander ›
Thu Jun 5, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Crossing the Line, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone
I’ve been in this comics business for umpty-bum years now. Its not that I’m ashamed of the number; I just keep forgetting it. Ah, the joys of aging! It’s more than a quarter century since I started as a full-time writer; I know that. I’ve been a comic fan even longer. I’ve watched the occasional villain become... well, if not a hero, then something like one. Magneto, over in X-Men Land, for example. He’s gone from being the arch-enemy to our merry mutants to metamorphosing into an ally, to sometimes becoming their leader, and then back. Batman periodically gets darker until it’s hard to tell him apart from his foes.
Occasionally, this happens in real life.
Today, June 5, 2008, Ian Paisley steps down as First Minister of Northern Ireland.
Brief background, in case you don’t know: Northern Ireland is not a part of the Republic Of Ireland. It’s a constituent county of the United Kingdom and comprises the six counties that chose to remain a part of the U.K. when the Government of Ireland Act in 1920 created Home Rule in Ireland, formerly directly ruled by England. The Republic of Ireland, the South, with its capital of Dublin is (nominally, at least) largely Roman Catholic. Northern Ireland is largely Protestant but with a large Roman Catholic minority. In general, the Protestants regard themselves as English (they’re considered “Unionists”) while the Roman Catholics consider themselves Irish although, in fact, a citizen of Northern Ireland born before 2004 could claim citizenship in either or both the U.K. and Ireland.
Thu May 29, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Indiana Jones and the Secret to Adventure, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone
Spoiler warning: Spoilers. Why did it have to be spoilers?! I hate spoilers. Hate ‘em! Unfortunately, I can’t talk about what I want to talk about regarding the latest Indiana Jones flick unless I spill some beams. So I’m warning you upfront. The spoilers won’t appear until after the break and I’ll give you a final warning before I go into them. If you want to just skip the column this week, I’ll understand… this week. Don’t make a habit of it. I know where I live.
Wait. That didn’t come off right.
Okay, I’ve gotten out the fedora and went off to see the new Indiana Jones flick, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. As much as I’m a Star Wars fan (and I’d better be – I’ve been writing Star Wars for about eight years now and you can see what I’m doing in Star Wars: Legacy and, yes, that’s a plug), I’m a bigger goon for Dr. Jones. Even before Raiders of the Lost Ark came out, I was a fan because George Lucas talked in interviews about how his new movie originated in his and Steven Spielberg’s love for the old Saturday Matinee Serials. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I loved ‘em, too. Still do.
Saturday Matinee Serials are also known as “chapter plays” and originally were shown in movie theaters on Saturdays as a way of getting the kids to come back, week after week. They would last 12 to 15 chapters and each one would end with a cliffhanger for the hero or heroine with no way out. Of course, when the next chapter appeared, they showed you the segment that they hadn’t previously shown you which allowed said hero/heroine to escape just in the nick of time. The serials date back from the dawn of cinema to the early 50s when they fell prey to the confangled new invention that was to blight/enrich all out lives, television.
And it was there that I discovered the Saturday Serial. The old serials were re-packaged for Saturday Morning TV kid’s fare and, like the old matinees, were part of a package. It was here that I discovered these often cheesy pleasures. I remember Tim Tyler’s Luck – a 1937 Universal jungle adventure adapted from the comic strip of the same name. The strip petered out only in 1996. I also remember Don Winslow of the navy, also based on a comic strip of the time. In fact, it’s amazing how many of the comic strips and books of the time were adapted into serials – Dick Tracy, Superman, Batman, the Shadow (yeah, he had a comics strip), Spy Smasher, and an excellent version of Captain Marvel, among others.
Continue reading Indiana Jones and the Secret to Adventure, by John Ostrander ›
Thu May 22, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Patriot Games, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #67
You may have seen this via e-mail. It’s getting passed around a lot.
At this point, a photo follows with Marines escorting a flag draped coffin to a grave and is followed by a prayer for the dead that I remember from my Roman Catholic days.
This is lump-in-the-throat, tear-in-the-eye agit-prop. Normally, I wouldn’t care – but they’re using veterans, whom I think should be honored, to try and make points for the Right, and that gets me riled.
Thu May 15, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Disney Invades Iraq? by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #65
You may already know about this story – it surfaced in late April elsewhere. I found out about it thanks to This Is True, a weekly newsletter and website run by Randy Cassingham and one of my fave e-mails of the week each week.
Here’s the story, in case you missed it. An American entrepreneur has looked at the mess in Iraq and decided that what Baghdad needs is an entertainment park. Llewellyn Werner, chairman of C3, which The Times of London online says is “a Los Angeles-based holding company for private equity firms” is putting 500 million dollars – a cool half billion – into the Baghdad Zoo and Entertainment Experience outside but near the American “Green Zone.” It will comprise fifty acres and, in addition to the former Baghdad Zoo, will include a skateboard park, rides, a concert theater, and a museum.
The Baghdad Zoo itself now has only 35 animals out of about 700 it had originally. The rest were lost to the war – starved to death, stolen, and killed so they could be eaten by Baghdad citizens who were afraid there was going to be no food.
Thu May 8, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Them Bones, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #65
Oh, Your toe bone connected to your – FOOT BONE.
Your foot bone connected to your – ANKLE BONE.
Your ankle bone connected to your – LEG BONE.
Now hear the word of the Lord!
Remember that song? Dry Bones – a great African-American spiritual.Some of us remember it from the climatic episodes of The Prisoner
What I like about the song is the word “connected.” It suggests we look at things in context. I can understand how, in academia, it’s useful to parse things out for study. Sometimes studying a tree can tell you a lot about a forest. However, I do wonder if we haven’t gotten too specialized in our daily lives. Special Interest Groups (SIGs) seem to have more pull in government than ordinary citizens. Their power comes from their myopia. They are not there to think of the general well-being; they are there to work for the narrow interests of one group, whether or not that benefits the whole, and sometimes despite the fact that it does not benefit the whole.
The same is especially true on the Internet. There is a niche for every conceivable group and sub-group and some groups of which I would never conceive or would want to conceive (child pornography being an example). I worry, however, about a fracturing of our vision. I’m concerned about our ability to see beyond our own narrow scope of vision and interests anymore.
Thu May 1, 2008 — by John Ostrander
It's Obama... Hilary... no, it's Superdelegate! by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #63
We’ve now had the Pennsylvania Primary and I guess one of the candidates saw their shadow because it looks like we’re going to have six more weeks of Primaries. It’s like the end of the first Rocky film – we’re getting to the end of eighteen rounds and neither fighter can score the knockout blow. And both fighters are looking beat to hell.
I’ll make my preferences known upfront. Between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, I prefer Barack Obama. There’s a variety of reasons but let’s just say that, while I prefer Obama, I could support Clinton if she won the nomination. I can’t reward the Republican Party for eight years of screwing the country by voting to put another Republican in the White House. I admire John McCain as a person but he’s for continuing some policies that I think are ruinous.
That said, there’s one scenario I can conceive that I think would keep me from voting Democratic. It involves the super-delegates and it’s more likely to involve a Clinton candidacy than an Obama one.
Right now, the math doesn’t favor the Senator from New York. Obama’s lead is sufficient that, given the way the Dems award delegates proportionally in primary votes as opposed to the “winner take all” method that the Republicans use, Clinton won’t win the nomination based on either delegate count or popular vote. She’s makes claims to having “won” the Michigan and Florida primaries and argues that she should get those delegates. That would certainly help her but those primaries were already disallowed by the DNC; no one campaigned in Florida and Obama’s name wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan. Yeah, it’s messy and it cheats the voters in those two states and the DNC pulled a boner in handling the situation but you don’t hand the votes to Senator Clinton. She didn’t really earn them; the results aren’t valid.
Continue reading It's Obama... Hilary... no, it's Superdelegate! by John Ostrander ›
Thu Apr 17, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Other Than Myself, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #61
I remember the morning after the primary election where Harold Washington won the Democratic nomination for Mayor of Chicago, becoming the first African-American man to do so. It was February 22, 1983 – 25 years ago. The white voters were split between then incumbent mayor Jane Byrne and Richard M. Daley, son of long-time mayor Richard J. Daley and who is currently mayor of Chicago.
Whoever wins the Democratic mayoral primary is de facto mayor of Chicago. That’s a given. The last Republican mayor, William Hale Thompson, left that office in 1931.
There is no two-party system in Chicago. At best, it’s a party and a half. As a result, Washington was going to be the new mayor of Chicago and, oh, how the white establishment cried! One white Democratic politician actually considered switching parties to oppose Washington in the mayoral election rather than have Chicago face the terrible possibility of a Negro mayor. The fact that he didn’t simply means that he realized that the habit of voting Democratic was too ingrained.
I learned exactly what it meant on my way to work that day. I used the “L” at that time – Chicago’s rail transit line. My neighborhood was “iffy” – right on the borderline between an okay area and a slum and was gradually slipping downwards. That meant you walked around with your ‘spider-sense” definitely on. That was especially true of the L station.
I paid my fare and walk up the stairs to wait for the train. There was only one other person up there – a “Negro.”
Thu Apr 10, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Things That Suck, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #61
I’m growing older, approaching cranky-old-manhood, and there are increasing number of small petty things that simply annoy me, dagnab it. Since I can write whatever I durn well please in this here column, I’m just going to indulge myself with a couple of rants on different topics and nothing unites them beyond the fact that I’m a cranky old fart. Yessir.
Grocery stores. The grocery stores I use have self-checkout lanes. These are new contraptions and, as such, on general principles I’m agin ‘em. However, in theory, they get me out of the store faster and that’s a boon so I use them most of the time. What I hate is that the damn things nag ya! They have this voice that keeps walking me through the process. I know how to use it. I don’t need it to keep telling me. It has the same disapproving female voice as Sister Mary Water Closet back in the third grade. I don’t need to hear that voice again, thank you very much!
It would be nice if you could refuse its help but you can’t! Screaming at it to “shut the fuck up!” only gets you stares from your fellow shoppers. Telling it that, “If I wanted to be nagged I’d dig up my mother!” is ineffective and sets small children to weeping, bringing store security. They and the IRS are not well equipped in the sense of humor department.
Thu Apr 3, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Finishing Therapy, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #60
S
poiler Alert: This column will be reviewing HBO’s In Therapy series and more than a few of its secrets are bound to get spilled along the way. If you have the show TiVoed for future viewing, you may want to delay reading this week’s installment.
I’ve just finished watching HBO’s nine week, 43 half hour episode series In Therapy wherein we follow a bunch of patients as they have sessions with their therapist. Each day, Monday through Friday, is devoted to a different client/patient with Friday devoted to the therapist’s sessions with his own therapist. In theory, you could watch just one patient’s sessions, such as X on Wednesday, and wind up with a complete narrative. The show is also designed, however, to have an over-all über-narrative that emerges if you watch all the episodes. It is itself based on an Israeli show, Be Tipul, and the episodes of In Therapy are adapted from specific scripts in the Israeli series.
The series boasts some fine – in some cases, superb – acting with a topnotch cast. At the center of it is Gabriel Byrne as therapist Paul Weston. Weston’s office is a room in his own home that has separate entrances and exits from the rest of the house. He’s about 50, very respected and successful in his profession but things are starting to crack. His marriage to his wife, Kate, played by the always incredible Michelle Forbes, is cracking. He barely knows his children anymore. One of his patients has fallen in love with him and he may be falling in love with her as well.
It was a demanding series, not the last for its length. 43 episodes is a major commitment to ask of viewers. Also, the bulk of the series happens in Paul’s office as we sit in on the sessions. That means a lot of talk with folks sitting. Perhaps better suited for a play, one might think, or a book, or a radio play. For television? Doesn’t that call for something that is more visual?
For myself, the length didn’t put me off. In the theatre, I’ve watched both parts of the staged production of Nicholas Nickelby in one day and a staging of all seven plays in Shakespeare’s War of the Roses cycle in one weekend. At the dame time, both had more movement, more spectacle, than did In Therapy. Perhaps the more important question is – did each individual story require the episodes devoted to it? Did each one add up? Did the whole series, all of the stories together, itself add up to something that was, frankly, worth the time and commitment to watching it? Do I regret spending the four hours or so with each character?
Thu Mar 27, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Absolutely Free Speech, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #59
In addition to my appearances here, I also have a chat site that can be found at World Famous Comics Community. Yes, you’re all invited to come over for a chat if you like. I check in usually several times a day if I’m not drowning in deadlines.
On occasion, we get someone who is abusive and they get told (more or less politely at first; it depends on my mood) to knock it off. Almost invariably, I get informed by the poster that this is a free country and they have the right to “free speech” which generally mans saying whatever they want in whatever manner they want to say it.
At that point, I usually explain that whether or not this really is a “free country” may be debatable but the Comics Community Board (like the Boards here) are for members and that, when you sign up, you agree to behave a certain way. Other sites may not demand that but we did there. Further, it was my discussion board – it has my name on it – and I had my own rules as well. If they didn’t like it, they could go elsewhere. Unlimited, absolute free speech was not guaranteed anywhere in any case.
A lot of people when they claim the right to free speech really don’t know what they’re talking about. So let’s be specific, just for fun.
To start off with, it’s not universal. Lots of places in the world don’t have it and the governments don’t want their people to have it. We have it because it’s in the Constitution; it’s enshrined in the First Amendment in the Bill of Rights which reads as follows: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”
Continue reading Absolutely Free Speech, by John Ostrander ›
Thu Mar 20, 2008 — by John Ostrander
Faith Based Economics, by John Ostrander
Tales From The O-zone #58
I don’t know much about economics. It’s all voodoo to me. Unfortunately, the same appears to be true of the corporate bosses of Bear Stearns, the “hallowed” investment bank that was sold over the weekend for pennies on the dollar to JPMorgan Chase. That was made possible by a thirty billion (“B” billion, not “M” million) dollar hand-out from the United States Federal Reserve Bank to cover Bear Stearns assets that would be “difficult” to sell off, meaning the U.S taxpayer will be stuck holding that bag.
“How could this happen?!” Actually, how could it not? Bear Stearns, along with a lot of other investment banks, were using “mortgage based securities.” Essentially, as I understand it, they lent the money to the guys lending the money to the people who were buying homes. Mortgages. They issued and traded bonds that used these mortgages to secure the money for the people who bought the securities. So long as those mortgages were prudent, it was not necessarily a bad idea.
However, the guys making the mortgages invented a new category – sub-prime mortgages. Many of those mortgages were given to people who didn’t have the funds really to make the payments and weren’t going to have them. That’s okay. Just re-finance! And the “worth” of the houses being bought kept going up and up. Anyone with half a brain knew that the housing market was WAAAAAY over-priced. It was crazy.
The reason the houses and land were worth that much was because everyone agreed they were. They believed it as deeply as any Born Again Christian grabs hold of the Bible. The loaves and the fishes with which Jesus fed the multitude didn’t multiply as much or as fast as some of the housing prices. It had to be true. Shout down the un-believers and naysayers. Except, of course, it all wasn’t true.
